Dear Disappointed,

Short answer:

So, like you, I have my own ideas as a guy about the "typical" bachelor party, as well as what I want MINE to be like (there will be absolutely NO cigars!).

I agree with you, it does not sound normal, nor is it a positive statement about what most men are like. If a guy wants to play the field, fine, but he needs to get it out of his system, sow his wild oats as it were, OUTSIDE of a committed relationship.

There's nothing wrong with a bachelor party, but cheating is another story.

I am something of a zealot when it comes to cheating, not without the "benefit" of my own checkered past in this department. In the context of a relationship, this is the most serious slippery slope, no matter what anyone says. If you do it once, you can do it more than once. And each time, at least to the adulterer, it may seem less and less of a big deal.

This danger is key. If they can't be good, they had better be safe.

In reality, it becomes more and more hurtful and, in these days, potentially dangerous to a partner. A night out with the guys is just dandy, but infidelity by any other word is just as wrong. Your friends, and men everywhere, should think carefully about such "youthful indiscretions," and about the true motivations and consequences of their actions.

They're giving us "nice" guys - defined as men secure enough in their masculinity not to have to boink anything that moves at every opportunity - a bad name.

When you say, "Will you marry me?" you have to take all the responsibilities along with all the advantages and perks (yes, there are perks to being married! I know even though I haven't been there yet.).

'Nuff said. Tell your pals to keep their zippers closed.

Mensch