Dear girl in a glen,

I think it's time you came out of the glen and made up your mind to be a woman in the world. Have some courage!

It must feel pretty good to have two "kick-ass" men in your life. And, given your other penchant for picking the wrong guys, you seem to have scored twice here.

You Will Hurt Both of Them Until You Make Up Your Mind

Ithink that she has made up her mind, it is obvious who she wants.

But frankly, you owe it to them, and to yourself, to make up your mind and choose the man you need. You are hurting both of them now. Your supposedly selfless desire to not hurt anyone is hurting both guys. I wouldn't put up with it, but they are choosing their own torture. In your case, you will never really know who's right until you give it a chance for real.

You're right, there are disadvantages now. She should take a break from Steve for awhile.

Steve sounds great, but there are real disadvantages: distance (which you seem to not have dealt with well in the past); career conflict (he's going to go somewhere else for his residency, and you have a great job in Austin); needs (you sound very unsettled in what you are looking for in your life, while Steve seems very focused).

We don't know much about Matt, but you seem very fond of him, and given how recently you two got together, it could really develop...if Steve were out of the picture.

The only one to answer the question is you. No one can make the decision for you, and it should not be made out of a desire to help someone else. This is ultimately for you, and really only for you.

It's your life. So Steve will cry, Matt will storm, but someone's got to be dumped.

Ouch! And to think that I used to think that you were so sensitive.

I think you are already a good candidate for Jerry Springer: the girl who dates two guys because she likes all the attention and can't decide.

Good luck,

Charlie