You talk a lot about how it would seem . . . that you don't want to end up like someone on the Jerry Springer show. And I admit, I've even given that as ADVICE to people. But the only people who end up on shows like that are the ones who make incredibly bad decisions for themselves (well, two bad decisions, to be in the situation they are in and then to display it to the viewing audience of slimy TV shows).

Don't Worry About How it Would Seem, How Would it Feel?

She needs an emotional break from Steve before she can honestly answer this question.

But, what about how it would feel? How would it feel to be in a relationship with Steve? How would it feel to get over Steve? You already know how it feels to not be in a relationship with Steve and not be over him. But, given two new choices, renewing your relationship and getting over him, which image is a happy one? How do you feel when you think about yourself in those situations? and does one seem much more realistic than the other?

Now think about risk. What would you risk if you got over Steve? You may risk your idealism, that there is only one love of your life, that you met the perfect person at that perfect young age, etc. You may also risk other things - losing someone who knew you then, and so knows you now like not too many other people do.

What would you risk if you went back to Steve? A relationship that you are only marginally committed to. A little pride. Hurting Matt, an admittedly great person (although I personally think all that attention is a little stifling, but to each their own). What else?

What are You Willing to Risk?

Now, which of these things are you willing to risk? I can't tell you. You may place a lot of weight on pride and less on idealism, or vice versa. The great thing about this situation, is YOU get to make a decision. The horrible thing about this situation, is YOU have to make a decision. Love is hard that way - responsibility comes with repercussions.

Whatever you decide, keep that image of yourself in your mind. A year or two from now, starting a masters degree (definitely go, by the way) can you see yourself in the situation you are in? No way - you will either be over Steve, or with him. Which will it be? Which makes you happier?

Good luck. Just remember, you have a right to make yourself happy. And you are smart enough to make the right decision for yourself without any repercussions from Jerry Springer. And you have dreams to follow - you just have to admit what they are to yourself.