Judith said:

Good luck. And keep writing – possibly another change, this one in careers? Even though I doubt it, I hope you continue to write more than medical case studies.

Steve Responds:

You wanted an update on the 2-sided story. A lot has happened since you last heard from us. I'll give you the highlights:

We Hooked Up at an Alumni Function

A few months after we shared our story on Love & Learn, Girl in a Glen (GIAG) and I saw each other at an alumni function for college. Though there was some initial apprehension, we ended up getting very intimate, with her making most of the critical moves. Finally, it seemed to me that she was coming around.

Her Boyfriend Back Home

But she started to freak out when she thought about going back home, where her boyfriend (still the same guy) was waiting for her (uh-oh). Things went downhill from there.

She Didn't Want Me To Be with Anyone Else

I disagree – she was just "reliving" what it was like to be your girl.

Looking back on that weekend, I think her actions were less about her wanting to be with me, and more about her not really wanting me to be with anyone else. She monopolized my time while we were there, much to the dismay of my friends, and often ramped up her displays of affection when we were in the presence of other girls who she suspected of being attracted to me.

She Focussed on the Obstacles

She was wishy-washy over the following months, sometimes being so stony cold, other times calling me in tears, admitting that she'll never find anything like us again. But, usually her focus was on all that stands
between us. As Henry Ford once said, "obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the goal." Well, her eyes seem firmly averted from the goal.

My New Girlfriend Is More Understanding

I have since moved on to a new relationship, and my new girlfriend is many things GIAG wasn't. She is more understanding of the time constraints and pressures of med school, she understands the value of maintaining
friendships outside the relationship, she is much more capable of conducting an intelligent and insightful conversation, and the physical stuff is everything that it wasn't with GIAG: arousing, exciting, exhausting, and
satisfying.

Friendship on her Terms

I disagree because you were obviously the only one who was trying to be friendly.

GIAG has suggested over and over that we try to be friends, and I've tried. Thing is, she hasn't.

Apparently, her idea of friendship is me bending to her wishes to keep her happy and comfortable... everything has to be on her terms. In return, she apparently needs to show me none of the same consideration. She feigns concern about my feelings, and then repeatedly stomps on them as she parades her new relationship in front of me. She has twisted facts of the past to half-truths of convenience at my expense. Not very friendly, if you ask me...

We No Longer Speak

I confronted her about being a crappy friend, and she didn't seem to like my observations (she has always had a problem believing she could ever be in the wrong). We now no longer speak.

It's upsetting to see something so wonderful degrade into something so miserable. I know I've become more jaded and more cynical, but quite frankly, everything that was once so uncommonly wonderful about her as been supplanted by the same superficial me-me-me crap that typifies her new environment (don't get me started on how nauseating that was to behold).

I Regret the Loss

Steve, be proud of yourself. You are correct in putting your career goals first.

I regret losing her very much, but even moreso, I regret letting her make my life miserable for so long.

Despite all my anger, I still love her very much, and I think I will always be haunted by the "what-ifs?"

A lot of people tell me that these things happen for the best. I sincerely want to believe them, but I just don't know if I can.

– Steve

Click here to see his question & other panelists' responses.

What do you think of this Answer?