Dear Hopeless,

I was moved by your story. I feel like there are many times when good women are treated poorly by the men in their lives, and they neglect to communicate how taken for granted they are.

I think that Jesse took your relationship for granted. You sensed his pulling away, and you got nervous and clingy. That pushed him away further.

Let Him Know That He Can't Take You for Granted

You're missing the point. Because of the drugs she should stay away from him.

I think that you should tell him how you feel about him, but also let him know that he took you for granted and you won't put up with it anymore.

A Relationship is a Dance, You Both Need to Pay Attention

Relationships (once they are past the ooh-you're-so-great stage) require both people to be self-assured, strong, clear about what they want, and flexible. You take what you need and make sure that you are giving back what the other person needs. It's a dance that requires the attention and "beat" of both partners.

It's all too common that one person becomes the caretaker and the other person just coasts. Usually the caretaker is the woman and the coaster is the man. You can change that pattern by demanding from yourself and your partner an equal attention to the relationship and to taking care of the things you each need.

If Jesse isn't willing to hear your honest feelings, and to recognize his own responsibility in your breakup, and to learn how to dance with you better in the future, then move on.

Chalk this one up to a great learning experience.

However, if he sees that you are strong, clear, self-assured, and know the best way to get what you want, then he will be eager to see who this new and exciting woman is.

Good luck,

Charlie