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Dear Carin,
It's very nice of you
to be so concerned about his feelings. It is a touchy subject. Has
he smelled the whole time, or just recently? Sometimes deodorants
just stop working for some reason. Switching brands usually helps.
Also, is he using a deodorant or an antiperspirant? Antiperspirants
stop you from sweating at all while deodorants just try to cover
up the smell.
If switching to an antiperspirant
(or switching brands) doesn't help, he might need to see a doctor.
But don't worry about that stage quite yet.
First,
Talk to Him Honestly
First you need to talk
with him honestly. It is really important that you try to be as
comfortable with the subject manner as possible, because it will
probably make him quite uncomfortable. Maybe you could say, "Honey,
I don't think your deodorant is working anymore. I know it's not
a matter of hygiene, because I know you keep clean, but would you
think about switching brands/to an antiperspirant?"
You might also want to
add in, "I know I would want you to tell me if the positions were
reversed." (That is, assuming you would.) If he says "sure" but
doesn't act on it, then just buy him some.
Find
an Appropriate Setting to Tell Him
IMPORTANT: Do this in
person, in private. Do not do it through e-mail, or over the phone.
Do not have this discussion when people are around, because that
might make him more embarrassed. You've been together three years,
so I would hope he could hear this from you without too much trauma.
Good luck!
Gillian
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