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Dear Cad,
We live in a disposable
society. When we grow tired of something, we throw it out. We do
not try to repair what is wrong or update it. We toss it by the
wayside and grab the newer more attractively packaged item on the
shelf believing that it holds the promise of happiness and a new
beginning.
Newer
Things Eventually Become Older Things
However, newer things
ALWAYS become older things.
The appeal of a new Miata
is great when you have been driving an older model station wagon
for several years that pales in comparison. An age old dilemma.
The "should I swap what I am bored with for a shiny newer model?"
Remember, the newer
model always looks better and more exhilarating. However, newer
cars have higher payments attached. You've invested a lot in your
reliable car. I mean marriage. It may need a little work, but maintaining
your current situation is going to pay off in dividends. You have
three children. Their lives, their sense of security and happiness,
should weigh heavily in your final decision.
You first have to examine
why this new person looks so good to you. Does it remind you of
a simpler time in your life? Does she make you feel more attractive?
Is it all very exciting?
18
Year Old Girls Become 35 Year Old Women
Here's a wake-up call.
18 year old girls grow up and become 35 year old women eventually.
Now examine your current
relationship. What is missing and why does this new possibility
seem so enticing? Talk to your wife about what you feel is lacking.
Try to find ways of working your way back together.
Your time would be better
spent with your current family than with a new and younger partner
who has not had as much life and love experience and who may quite
possibly discard you in the future the way you are considering discarding
your current wife and children.
Vacations
are Fun, But this One is Expensive & Dangerous
All of our actions carry
risks. You have to ask yourself a question. Is there really something
fundamentally wrong with your established relationship or are you
just looking for a "vacation" away from your children and marriage?
It is very common for
a relationship to have some evaluation periods after five years,
where you suddenly look around and wonder how you landed where you
did. But coming through these periodic tests can strengthen your
marriage and enhance your long term happiness.
We all like vacations
from routine but this is a very expensive vacation you are considering
and a dangerous one.
You
are Playing With Fire
You are playing with
fire if you are seriously considering hurting four innocent people
in your life for this younger woman. If you are contemplating juggling
the two parts of your life, think again. No one wins in these situations.
It is all very exciting in the beginning. However, in most cases,
all the pieces come crumbling down eventually and people get hurt
and hurt badly.
Before you make any
final decision, turn your attention away from the 18 year old girl
and put that same attention and care into your marriage. You will
find that it is time better spent. If romance or intimacy is missing
in your marriage, put your heart into igniting the flame again.
It may not burn as hot and immediate as things seem to with your
18 year old, but it will burn steady and give you steady warmth.
Sometimes the strength
of real love and a good marriage is a steady burn rather than a
firework explosion that is over quickly.
Carolcat
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