Dear John,

Oh brother.

You know, I hate it when people come up with absolutes like "honesty is the best policy."

It isn't always the best policy, and it isn't always nice. I would not go up to some homely person on the street and tell him that he was ugly, even if that was the most honest thing I could think of to do.

If your girlfriend really thinks that you are "marriageable material", then she should be willing to work with you to show you what she thinks is pleasurable in having sex with her. And if you are willing to work with her and do the things that she considers important, then I don't know what she's kicking about.

Do you think there's some extra special "venus flytrap" technique that only very experienced sexual partners know? Come on, she even experiences orgasms with you, which I'll bet many women don't get to do without artificial aids. And being honest with you by ragging on you about how bad you are in sex is not the greatest thing in a relationship.

I agree. Obviously she is brushing him off.

Take the Hint

Your girlfriend does not seem very nice, but you are right, she does seem honest in some regards. If she says that you're "not where you need to be" and that she "wants to date other people", hey, take the hint. Believe her on that. I do.

There are Plenty of Books at Barnes & Noble

Go build up your experience by dating other people and picking up some sexual best sellers from Barnes & Nobles. There are PLENTY of books on sex in the stores.

Oh, and by the way, dating her former fiancee because she feels sorry for him ain't as honest as you seem to think.

Lefty