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DUDE!
This lays to rest the
opinions of those who say that guys can just have sex without emotional
attachmen.
You've
Broadened Your Taste in Women
Welcome to the big complicated
world of feelings and relationships. I note that you're also learning
that your tastes in women are somewhat broader than you previously
realized. Now if you and she were just on the same page...
Here's what I think:
She needs to get over that ex, for sure, but what is it that makes
you realize she's still hung up on him? Point these things out to
her, gently and politely.
She
Can't Express Herself
I would tend to agree
with you on not putting too much weight on her proclamation of love,
but then, she may not have as rich a vocabulary or extensive experience
as you. This is certainly likely considering her age and dearth
of sexual experience. I'm not saying she should have more sex with
you or anybody else, just that she may not be able to express herself
and what she's feeling in any way other than to say, "I love you."
I believe that all lovers
should start out as friends. There are also advantages and disadvantages
to dating someone you work with, you'll have to do the social math
on your own.
The long and short of
it is, communicate with her, tell her you care about her, but that
you don't want to get involved too soon after her last relationship.
 Confront
Her about Her Ex
Be frank: if you think
she's hung up on, pining for, comparing you to her ex, tell her
so, but don't just make stuff up - be prepared to back up what you
say with actual evidence. You might suggest slowing down/reverting
a bit, that is, going "back" to dating, exploring your common interests
and doing all that fun getting-to-know-you stuff, enjoying the chemistry
all over again, moving back up to sleeping together...
Be honest, supportive,
and communicative, but if you don't find your own needs and feelings
being reciprocated, be a man, say so and break it off (this, of
course, is one of the complications of working with a significant
other - if it doesn't work out, the aftermath can be extremely awkward
at best).
Mensch
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