|
Dear Marcus Joe,
What year is this?
I can't understand why
racism still exists. I really can't. I also know that it cuts both
ways.ÛÛI know that it's hard for many black people to accept a mixed-race
relationship as well.
I doubt it's easy for
you, and I really appreciate your writing in and sharing your story.
Unfortunately, if there was an easy answer, we wouldn't have a lot
of the interracial conflict that still occurs daily in our country.
I have a very close
friend who married his college friend. She is black, he is white.
Her family never had a problem, his father refused to attend the
wedding and he never told his grandparents that he was even getting
married. But, his sister, after many months of conflict, finally
came around. His sister came to the wedding, and was ultimately
(somewhat) supportive.
The only thing I can
say is that differences take time for people to accept. The best
way to combat their intolerance is to be patient and compassionate
with them. You understand that it's hard for them to deal with,
but you keep on loving and hope they come around. The key is maintaining
the love for each other and helping each other deal with the challenges
that family and friends might throw at you.
It
is Complicated by Her Age
In this case, things
are complicated by her age, though. She's still so young! She's
still probably very concerned with her family's approval, and really
fears "losing" them. I don't think she ever really would lose them.
But, depending on their depth of bad feelings for black people,
she could risk a great deal of conflict. I have heard of cases where
people stopped speaking to each other over issues like this. So,
be careful, too!
I don't think there is
anything you can do other than be patient. Either she will work
things out with her family or she won't. You can be supportive,
loving, trusting, strong, nurturing, compassionate and patient.
But, it's tough to change people's minds. It takes time.
Good luck!
Charlie
|
