Dear David,

I believe several things that are impossible to prove, and that are not theological in nature.

Among these, I believe that things happen for a reason (but are not predetermined), and I believe that if we are patient and open enough to the possibility, every one of us can end up with the "right person," no matter the circumstances. Distance, culture, religion, language, and other mundane factors cannot hold a candle to true love.

This might sound a bit hokey... OK, it sounds REALLY hokey, but I don't care.

My advice to you is to go ahead and open up, share your feelings for this woman who makes your knees go weak (I love that feeling, don't you?).

It may be awkward at first, and it may be downright painful later on - I don't know what might happen, but I do know what WON'T happen if you say nothing.

You'll Be Wracked by "What If" Thoughts

Besides which, you'll be wracked by "what if" thoughts if you say and do nothing, and those will handicap you emotionally. I've been faced with this situation personally, and she and I went for the relationship with all the intensity we had. While it didn't work out, there would have been no way to know without trying.

But that IS the philosophy of the web site. Why do you think that I called it Love & Learn?

This is what Love and Learn is all about - the philosophy, not just the Web site.

You speak very intelligently in your query about "keeping the channels of communication open." This is as important now as it is long into a committed relationship. No matter what happens between you and Jane, I'm willing to bet she'll appreciate and be touched and impressed by your honesty and candor if you open this channel.

In short, go for it!

Mensch