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Dear Belle,
Forgive me if I'm wrong
about this.
You've
Already Decided to End It
But, I'm getting from
your letter that you've really already have made up your mind that
it's time to end it.
You've picked a good
time -- graduation, moving on in your life.
You
Have Changed
I don't think the question
is whether he'll change, I think after five years you know each
other really well. I think the issue is that you have changed. You
are more clear about where you are going in your life and you are
ready to leave the relative comfort of this old long-term relationship
for more exciting adventures.
I
Got Married to Save a Drifing Relationship
In my own experience,
your feelings at this juncture are probably right on. As my college
girlfriend and I drifted apart we made the mistake of getting married
to "save" the relationship. What we should have done was break up.
Is that ironic? Yes,
but I think you are having some of the same feelings by agreeing
to live with him this Summer. My recommendation is to find a new
place to live while you sort things out in your own mind.
I can't really advise
you on how to break up. I've never been the dumper, always the dumpee.
Therefore I suggest, since it has been so long, that you talk to
people about the best way to "leave your lover." Or you could just
listen to the Paul Simon song.
In any case, you're both
in for rough times. But, I think that it is very common to spend
your college years with someone, and then when you're done, to have
real doubts. Explore those doubts. Then, whatever happens, you'll
feel informed, clear, ready to face the future.
Good luck!
Charlie
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