Dear Belle,

Bad Reason to Live with Someone

The best reason NOT to live with someone is that you need a roommate, or a place to stay. You may think you are saving money, but trust me, the costs are higher than you really want to pay.

You're right. She would be doing what I did when I got marriend to save a drifing relationship.

Living together, when the circumstances are right, is a great thing. That is not to say that it is trouble-free. Living together intensifies the good and the bad within a relationship. In your case, that doesn't sound like a good idea. You know how you are annoyed with him now because he has no goals? That is going to be even more irritating when you are dealing with it on a daily basis, in your home no less.

Living Together Makes Breaking-Up Even Harder

Not only that, if you do come to the point where you want to end things, it is made about a million times more difficult when you are living with the person. I've seen friends in this situation and it's so messy. With breakups, things definitely have the potential to get ugly -- can you imagine the standard painful breakup scene but with dividing up the security deposit, deciding whose CDs belong to whom, and figuring out who gets the apartment? Not a pleasant thought, is it?

You Don't Have to Break Up; But Don't Live Together

You don't have to make a decision about whether you want to break up with him right now. Yes, he may have goals and decide to reach them. You may be happy with him as your boyfriend, at least at the present.

But living together is a big commitment and it also puts a great pressure on the relationship. I think that you should find another place to live and let things with the relationship develop in their own time.

Gillian

p.s. congrats on graduating!