|
No one can say for sure
why he is obsessing about your past, but it sounds like it could
be one of two things: jealousy or insecurity. At their extreme,
both jealousy and insecurity lead to possessiveness, which can be
very destructive in a relationship.
On the one hand, you
may consider it flattering that he cares so deeply about you that
he can't stand the thought of anyone else being with you. But it
sounds like he may be crossing the line and developing an unhealthy
perspective of your relationship.
 Reassure
Him
Perhaps he doubts your
feelings for him, or maybe there is a deeper issue of mistrust in
your relationship. You might try to reassure him whenever possible
of your feelings for him, and avoid situations in which you will
spend time with past boyfriends/husband,
if possible. I would
also talk to him to find out exactly how you could reassure him
of your feelings and devotion to him. Perhaps he is looking for
evidence of your commitment in a different way than you are showing
it. Maybe there is a different way that you can give him the reassurance
he is looking for and help him to let go of the past.
And if you can't seem
to resolve it, I would suggest that you seek premarital counseling.
A professional counselor can help him deal with jealousy or mistrust
and bring out the issues that may be causing his behavior. You need
to deal with it now before you are married, or it will only intensify
after you are married.
Actually, most married
couples I know invested in premarital counseling and have greatly
benefited from it.
Hope that helps!
|
