Dear Issues and More Issues,

First of all, I want to let you know that it is not your fault that she's lying. Is it? Are you being completely nonjudgmental when she approaches you with issues? Are you freaking out when she tells you something? If you were I could kind of understand why she would be hesitant to tell you the truth at all times.

But being honest in a relationship does not necessarily mean that you share EVERYTHING. Maybe he can't handle the truth.

But what's the point of being in a relationship with someone if you can't share things honestly?

I DO have a clue: the rape may have left her afraid of sex & men

If you are being as understanding as you say, then I really don't know why she's lying. I have no clue. Does she do this only with you, or with her friends and other people too? How come she can't be upfront?

Okay so we know that you have a problem with this not being upfront type of thing...So go to her again..."How come you can't be upfront with me about everything? Is there something that I'm doing wrong that makes you feel you can't be honest with me? It hurts to find out you haven't been honest with me, because you can tell me anything..." you can say something like that, or along those lines.

See what she says, if she gives you the same story again that she gave you before when you first talked about it, then you have to choose another route.

But I did say that if you have to give an ultimatum, this is the way to do it.

Mr. Sensitive says never to give ultimatums and maybe he is kind of right, but if this really bothers you then let her know that this could affect your relationship in a extremely negative way.

That's a euphemism for "Sooner or later I might get tired of this and dump your ass."

She Shouldn't Spring Stuff On You

There is no reason for her to be changing some story she already told you every six months or springing stuff on you that she should have probably mentioned. I don't see why she would do that.

Good Luck,

Jayne