Dear Panel,

I am 23, he is 30 (neither ever married, no kids).

OK, I'm going to be honest here. In the past, I have gave in to sexual/intimate things too quickly. Being naive that things would turn out OK. I would eventually want more, and they wouldn't. They would either break it off after 5-6 months of using me and BSing me for that time, because they got tired of me, or I wanted more and they didn't, or they found someone they actually wanted to date, or as a girlfriend.

I know I most likely went about all these past relationships (or lack-of) in the past. I want to change that, but I idiotically don't know how!! That's all I've basically known of the "dating world".

I REALLY like this guy I'm interested in now, but since I really want to date him, and I want to do it "right"...I clam up, I'm not-as affectionate as I should be, I'm scared, I'm timid, I'm tense, etc....

This may seem like a stupid question, but how do "normal" people act when they are pursing a relationship? How slow normally do certain "steps" and things go? How should a woman act towards a man she is interested in (without being overly-sexual, like I've been in the past right off)? I want to know what men want in a girlfriend, material woman?

I'm tired of either being the woman men want to have just sex with, or just friendship with. I deserve and want a normal dating relationship, and with the guy I'm currently interested in! I am trying to get his attention, intrigue him, and entice him to do stuff with me. I know that's truly his decision, but anything to help me in things I could say that make me and going out with me more appealing? Thanks.

– Anonymous