Dear Eitherwayimdoingit,

You're right, John could have an STD.

You said several times that you're super scared of sex. Are you scared of pregnancy, disease, or what it will mean afterward? Or all of the above?

Sex is Easy

See, here's the problem, virtually any attractive woman can have sex with virtually any guy she is attracted to. Most guys are ready, willing, and able. It's easy for her. Problem is, most guys are not ready for commitment, hell most are not even ready for birth control.

Women Have to Set Limits

So, the way our society works, it's up to the woman to set limits, to be "good," to remember the consequences. It's not fair, but I think it's reality.

You Will Feel Worse After Sex

The thing that worries me most about your story is that you are likely to feel lower after sex, rather than higher. Neither guy is focused on you. The sex thing will happen, then what?

You're right, sex is not just physical, and she will end up wanting more.

Is there love there on either side? Don't you want a loving, lasting relationship in addition to sex? Don't you want to feel the real power of connecting with someone in love, rather than just the rapidly finished excitement of a one-nighter?

Wait For Love

My advice is wait for love...not necessarily marriage. Trust me, it's much better before, during and especially after.

Love, Charlie