Dear Panel,

I have been unhappily married for all of my seven years marriage.

I have tried counseling, individual therapy, and all the tools out there.

She Avoids Sex

Big Issue: My wife shows no physical desire for me whatsoever. I flirt more with the elderly ladies at church. I have gone as long as a year and several six-month, four-month and three-month periods without any kiss-touch-sex. She avoids anything that might lead to sex, like hot tubbing or vacations alone with just the two of us.

Asking for sex leads to a fight. She has literally told me to hurry up and get it overwith and not to mess her up! We are both good-looking, healthy people and I do desire her greatly.

My real concern is that I have two small children (7 & 2) and feel horrible for leaving their mother because of sex. To make matters worse, she stays home with them now and would have to work eventually after I left.

If I can't get the issue resloved with her, am I a creep for leaving for sex?

We Fight a Lot

Truth is, other parts of our relationship are poor as well, and we fight a lot. I want to move on, but guilt concerning the centrality of this issue is holding me back.

My wife says she will change. I don't see that coming. No pun intended.

– Missing it in Michigan