Okay. You asked so here goes....

You make it your life by refusing to allow it to be anyone else's. You need to get away from Gmuny and all men. It sounds as if you have gotten into a terrible cycle of living by and for the current man in your life.

You say that you have been dealing with men since you were 16 and that you got pregnant at 17. So, while you were still formulating an image of who YOU were you were also trying to BE a girlfriend and to BE a mother. I'm not surprised that you lost YOU along the way.

You Need to Leave

If you read your own letter I'm sure you will see that you need to leave Gmuny. The simplest reason is that he is physically abusive. I don't care what reason or rationale he is giving you-there is absolutely NO EXCUSE for physical violence in a loving relationship!

The reasons that he gives you are the second reason that you must leave him. His accusations of cheating (assuming that you aren't) are another warning sign of an abusive and controlling personality. There is nothing that you can do to change or fix him, just leave. At 25, it is realistic that you would want to go out and have a good time with your friends. Why isn't he one of those friends? If this was truly the perfect man for you, he would be your best friend and you would prefer being with him to being with anybody else. You don't, so get out.

I probably seem like a broken record by now and that's okay. The most obvious answer to your immediate problem is to leave that situation. I don't know your financial circumstances or how many children you have or even much about your situation but i do know, if you really want to leave and regain your life, you will find a way.

Take a Few Years Off From Dating

Once you do, take a few years off from dating. Learn how to support yourself. Become comfortable with being alone with yourself. Learn who you are. that way when it is time to begin another romantic relationship, you will know enough about yourself to be able to choose the right type of man for you.

Jody