Dear Tracy,

You say that you left your job because the chemistry between you two was too much to handle, then you asked your man to move out, cancelled your educational plans (why?) and your parents are upset with you?

what did HE give up?

I don't want to be judgmental but he is 20 years old ... and he can be the most mature 20 year old man you've ever known and STILL not be ready for a commitment. He couldn't commit to his girlfriend ... yeah, I know, I know, you guys were in love right?

She should examine his motives -- AND her own

Examine His Motives

Take that "love" thing with a grain of salt.

A guy can say that he's in love with you and he wants to be with you however (I know this sounds majorly cynical) you have to look at possible motives on why he would really want to do this with you, especially if he's only 20 years old. He might not even know why he would want to be with you. Hell, the reason you probably held on to him so tightly is because of the deteriorating nature of the relationship with your then current boyfriend.

Think back. Does it make sense?

I was in a similar situation...where things seemed more romantic than it really was. And that's what pulled you in, it seemed romantic. Two lovers torn between their other relationships, priorities, giving up so much just to be together because their relationship is so REAL ....

Sure.

I don't truly know if your relationship with the 20 year old can last. I'm not going to discourage you. But if he's suddenly "forgetting" the promises and plans that you made together and he's withdrawing, what does that tell you?

This May Have Been What Your Subconscious Wanted

She made a big mistake!

It may seem like you made a mistake, but maybe you didn't.

Maybe you didn't really love your boyfriend enough to make it work. Maybe you felt it was truly over anyway. Maybe you didn't feel like going to grad school. Maybe you felt like pissing off your parents -- just kidding! Like I said, there are motives for everything and maybe you wanted a way out.

Its hard to think straight when you're going through personal things (you and your boyfriend; he and whatever) and you're just looking for a way to be happy. But maybe you thought it was more than it really was.

You can either do this. Try to make it work by talking to him about the situation (then its completely up to whether he cooperates or not), or move on, even if things can't be the same as before. Don't feel as if you've wasted your time or whatever because like I said your subliminal mind always has a motive -- maybe you needed a change in your life but you needed a reason to change.

Should you go to Colorado?

Do what your gut is telling you to do right now. I think it's saying "don't go".

Jayne