Hi Katrina.

You certainly don't need a lecture, you have an excellent handle on the issues. Instead, you ask for help making a big decision.

A few things to ask yourself:

1. How will you feel about yourself if you are now a "sexually active" person instead of a virgin?
   
   
2. What precautions do you plan to take against pregnancy and STD's, and what will your plan of action be if they fail?

Ask Other How They Felt

I think you should ask around for #1. You have one excellent person to talk to: your boyfriend. Presumably it wasn't too long ago that he lost his virginity, and he can tell you a little bit about his change in self perception, what differences it made in his life, etc.

Hey, I am a few years older than her, and I lost my virginity when I was her age. I will tell her how I felt when I was in the same situation.

I would also talk to some other people, including women. Are there any women a few years older than you that you know are still virgins, or ones who lost their virginity around your age? As long as you ask more about how they feel about themselves and their decision and not about specific details about the circumstances, most people would probably be willing to talk to you.

Here Are Some Precautions

The second question is a much more personal one. No sixteen-year-old should have to deal with pregnancy or diseases; it is just too unfair to lose your youth that way. On the other hand, there are reasonable precautions you can take, including:

1. Insist that your partner is tested for diseases and is faithful
   
   
2. Do not have more than one partner -- your risk will increase dramatically if you are not cautious in this area and confident about your partner's activities
   
   
3. Speak with a health professional about the most reliable combinations of protection - a condom with spermicide ALWAYS but some other alternatives "layered" with this will provide additional protection.

Think About the Worst

Even so, these COULD fail. You need to think what you would do -- would your parents help you make a decision? would your boyfriend and friends be supportive? Do you have any deep-rooted beliefs about what a sixteen-year-old who gets pregnant should do?

I have friends and acquaintances who have made very different decisions when it happened to them (some through failure of birth control methods, most through carelessness) and all are finally happy with their decision, but it took a while to make the decision and feel comfortable with it.

Good luck to you. Despite all of the complications, sexuality is a wonderful thing -- either through intercourse or in lots of other ways that two people who are in love express their affection for each other.