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Dear Katrina,
Virgnity is too important to just take someone's advice. It is
very important that you follow your heart, soul, and mind on this
one. This is ultimately up to you. I can however give some insight
into the situation, having been there at your age. Basically there
are two options. Either sleep with him, or don't. Simple enough?
Not exactly...
Nothing Will Be the Same
Let's take the easier one right now, remaining a virgin. If he
loves you, and is as understanding as you say, he won't care. You'll
have more time to develop your relationship, because nothing will
be the same after you "take the plunge".
There is a handy little phrase that I think can be applied here:
Once sex enters a relationship, there isn't any room left
for it to grow.
And I agree with that.
It will change things in ways you can't imagine. And that is probably
some of the problem. You can't imagine it. How nice it feels, how
much fun it is, how exciting orgasms with a man are... But, back
to my point, I think it depends on whether or not you love him enough
to keep things as they are. Being comfortable with a person is a
very good thing.
Most Girls Want To Cry
But all coins have two sides... Let's say you decide to sleep with
him. Your parents are gone for the weekend, you have the house to
yourself, and he comes over with that tiny little rubber thing wrapped
in plastic. You've just got done watching "There's Something
About Mary" and you head upstairs to your bedroom. You kiss,
you touch, and 35 minutes later, you're lying on the bed, a newly
made non-virgin.
First reaction? Most girls want to cry. I can't explain it. Nothing
physically happens. (Unless of course you are very sore, or in a
little pain) You have a new outlook, and you don't know why. It
was just sex, right? Well, yes, but deciding to sleep with someone
the first time isn't so easy.
Will You Wish You'd Waited?
Some friends with ask you what it was like, and say "woo hoo,"
but there is bound to be someone who will wish you waited. And you
might wish you waited too.
He Will Look at You Differently
And whether you want to believe it or not, a guy will look at you
differently after he's been with you in such an intimate way.
Especially if he has done it before, and you haven't. He's been
there, and won't be suprised, or shocked by things, you however
are new to the club.
Depending on how religious you are, this can be a wonderful conversation
topic at confession as well.
Basically, I'm telling you it's wise to wait, if you can. You'll
have to decide how long you want to wait, if you do, and make an
informed decision. Some things to think about are STDs, Pregnancy,
and that "change" that is bound to happen between you
and your boyfriend. Of course the kissing, touching, and orgasms
are right up there too. But remember, either way, life will go on,
and at least you'll know you made the best choice.
~Melanee~
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