Men Also Believe in Love
I agree – women do believe in love, but so do men!
I think this just boils down to the fact that men and women
are fundamentally different.
I know quite a few men in very happy, secure, loving relationships
(including my own boyfriend) who go to strip clubs, who
glance through the Playboy magazines or occasionally buy
them. In fact, I bought my boyfriend a subscription last
year. When my boyfriend and I go out, we BOTH notice those
women who are exceptionally noticeable.
No Hidden Agendas
Men like looking at naked women. Period. There are no hidden
agendas there. It just is. A pretty woman walks by, they
will see. A beautiful actress is on the screen, they will
notice. A Playboy magazine, they will look.
I think women tend to look at men's interest in the naked
female body as a seedy thing that degrades them. Who says
it degrades any female when a man admires her body?
I know that I am not an airbrushed beauty, I don't have
a perfect body, but I do have my own self-respect, I do
have belief in myself and honor myself enough to recognize
that my boyfriend loves ME, he is with me and nothing changes
that.
There are separate issues when it comes to pornographic
content. If he is looking, it's because he's male. Period.
Plain and simple...again, no hidden agenda. They simply
like to look.
If he's reacting (drooling is usually a good indicator
of this), lusting, touching, or generally doing anything
else that is inappropriate for a man in a relationship to
do, that means he doesn't respect you.
Women Fantasize About Sex
Owning a magazine? Definitely should not be a problem.
Using the magazine to excite himself?? Shouldn't be a problem.
Don't women read romance novels? Don't they fantasize during
the sex scenes??
Change Your Reactions
We read, we fantasize – men look, they fantasize.
Instead of trying to change who HE is and the way a male
simply responds to the female body, try changing your reactions
– work on your feelings, get to the root of why you
are so threatened by pornography. I know a woman who left
her husband because she found a few magazines in his closet.
Trash Your Own Actions and Reactions
If he loves you, he will work with you on it – he
will respect your wishes as long as you are respecting HIM
at the same time. If you are asking him to trash his magazines,
trash an inherent part of himself – but at the same
time, you aren't willing to "trash" some of your
own actions and reactions and work it out – then you,
my friend, are not respecting him. It works both ways.
– Jeannie
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