Alex said:

... I don't believe that you should tell her.

 

A Reader Responds:

I agree because by telling her it would kill her. It is a problem of the individual who cheated. If he loves her he would suffer the consequences. If he does not love her than he wouldn't care.

-- Dr. love

Alex said:

... If you told her there is a possibility that she would break up with you. If she doesn't break up with you, you will lose her trust and that is a big issue, and you will always hear about it. ...

Jeannie Responds:

He would lose her trust?? He didn't obviously deserve it to begin with! This is not a man, this is a child who has no sense of a real relationship, what trust, honor and love truly mean.

Furthermore...let's say he does keep this to himself, he doesn't tell her...any woman on this earth will tell you that women "sense" things...he may not tell her that he slept with someone else, but he will think about it. At times, it will pop in his head, perhaps even when he is with her and emotionally, physically, in some way in that moment he will withdraw from her. She will feel it. I guarantee that. Her trust for him will begin to fade when she realizes for herself that something is wrong.

Whether he tells her or not basically speaks to HIS character. The fact that he slept with someone else and blames it on being a "male" says his character could use some improving. I know a lot of males who would be offended by the idea that you excuse your cheating because you are one. That's an excuse, not a reason. Either way, your relationship is not going to last. The least you could do is honor your girlfriend with the truth.

-- Jeannie

Sarah said:

If you love your girlfriend like you say you do then you should tell her but be prepared for the consequences.

A Reader Responds:

Sarah has a point.

If this ass clown really does love his woman, he needs to be honest about his indiscretion.

I am beginning to realize that all men -- especially the ones between 18-30 -- are driven to stupidity by their crotches. That's still no excuse, but perhaps ... only "natural?" Anywho. This guy should tell his woman and see what happens. No woman deserves a cheat.

-- Mia

Sarah said:

Explain to her that you admit that you made a mistake and ask her to forgive you. Whether or not she does is your fate.

A Reader Responds:

This is a definite rock and a hard place. You have to tell her because it will be found out later, things come out either out of anger or just bad timing, slips of the tongue.

And she deserves to be told to her face, over the phone or in a letter won't cut it. She is going to have every emotion in the book running through her and she needs to get it out at the source, in all honesty, that would be a small price for you to pay after what you did. Ask forgivness, just that. Don't try to rationalize it.

The word "But" is not in your vocabulary at that time. If it took sleeping with some other girl to show that you loved her, there's already problems. And telling her you "Don't think" it will happen again is not a good idea either. Chances are she will forgive you, I've personally known it to happen. But keep in mind she could ask for space, give it to her, it's her way of coping. If she ends it then you have to understand, she does have a valid reason to.

-- Jessica