| It's interesting how finances
can put the best of relationships into turmoil. I
must say that I have been in this situation (to varying degrees) on both sides. Since
relationships and finances are both constantly in flux, I'd be interested in addressing
a few issues: Why
is she not looking for a job? Has
she been looking but had no luck? Does she not have a career focus of her own?
Confidence is a HUGE issue in this, and she may not feel confident in her ability
to get a job or at least a good job. But
likewise, people are naturally lazy, and sometimes they need a little push. Be
part of her search, help her with her resume. Sometimes a little help and motivation
can get things going.
Why
are your finances not working? I
would sit down with her (if you haven't already) and go over your monthly budget
and decide if there are a few luxuries that you can do without or limit for awhile...it's
hard to keep up with Jones' and sometimes you shouldn't even try. It'll come eventually...maybe
your lifestyle can suffer a bit at the expense of your relationship...
You
need to be a "team" Relationships and marriage
are more about friendship, cooperation and compromise than anything. She needs
to understand that you both are on a team and that each player needs to contribute
for it to work...it's impossible for one person to work hard and feel "used",
as you might, and still stay in love and make it work! Just
keep communicating, lend an ear and a helping hand, and keep motivating her...and
skip out of a vacation or two until your finances improve!!! Good
luck! | 
