Be Supportive, But Don't Encourage Bad Habits

No, but he may need a professional to tell him this.

Your son is thirty-four years old. He doesn't need you to tell him that success doesn't come without hard work. If he can't keep a job, I bet he's not getting far with the American Dream. Quick success comes only if you are heir to a fortune or you last the longest on Survivor. All you can do is be supportive without encouraging his bad habits.

You Don't Have To Go Along With His Ideas

As far as your husband goes, it's unlikely that he will change. But you have choices about your own behavior.

Let him keep his delusions

Are you supporting his "gradiose dreams and self-delusions"? Do you go along with his ideas if they don't make sense to you? It's time for you to take a stand on what you want. If he wants to pursue another scheme, he can. But you don't have to.

As for the problems between your husband and son, these may be perfectly normal and healthy. Many sons and daughters need to work through difficulties with their parents so that they can find their own happiness. You won't be able to make it go away, so do your best not to take on the conflict yourself.