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Dear Last Hope:
It is very difficult
to go backwards in a relationship, but it is very possible to learn
from the mistakes we make and alter our behavior in the future.
In Life 101, everyone
gets hurt sooner or later. Scabs form and then it is time to take
a chance and love again.
You
Messed Up
You are correct -- trust
is imperative in a relationship. When it does not exist between
two people, it is tough to let down your guard and open your heart.
It sounds as though this woman you love, Alenka, is having trouble
trusting you again. I can understand that, based on your previous
behavior, and it sounds like you can understand it too. You messed
up. We all do. Learn from it.
Be
Consistent In Your Truthfulness
Trust is a great thing.
If injured, it can often heal with a bit of time and kindness. Alenka
needs to see that you are, as you appear to be. How can you convince
her of this? By being consistent in your behavior, by telling the
truth and by showing "interest" in her and her feelings.
Let her know you care
about her and tell her more than once that you realize what a terrible
mistake you made. Assure her that it won't happen again, but let
your behavior and the way you treat her be the way you communicate
your sincerity to her.
 Give
Her Time
If you give her time
and treat her well, she may come around. If she does not, you still
have a wonderful friend who may or may not trust you in time. Some
people cannot trust a person once that person has hurt them and
let them down. You will have to accept this if she cannot allow
herself to become vulnerable to you again.
The heart is a fragile
thing as you are finding out. You must handle other hearts as you
would want your heart to be handled -- gently and sincerely.
Stop
Playing Games
Take the very important
lesson you have learned from this experience. Try not to play games
with people in the future. Be genuine. Be careful with your words.
Let your actions express your feelings. Cherish the hearts of those
around you.
The
Book of Love
These are the first chapters
in the very big book of love that we all must read and digest. It
sounds like you have just completed your first assignment in the
book, and it was a doozy.
But you did well, despite
your feelings about how you handled this situation.
If you learned from your
actions and your occasional mistakes in judgment, you will achieve
great things in the future.
Let us know how things
work out.
-- Miss Kitty
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