Dear Boring Barbara,

Just your nickname belies your fears – there's nothing boring about Boring Barbara!

Are You Boring, Or Just Bored?

She's neither bored nor boring; she just needs to find men who bring her happiness.

I have found that when I felt boring it was because I wasn't doing the things for myself that I really considered fun. I was caught up in the "shoulds" of my life rather than the "I want tos." Shoulds are the chores, the work, the routines of your day. How much of these things are so essential that they are worth giving up all of your "want tos?"

Many Guys Need Sex After A Breakup

Are you making sure that you are doing the things that you really want to do? Are you laughing enough? Maybe dating isn't the answer right now.

Here's why I say this:

You're right, guys on the rebound are the wrong guys for her.

Many guys who come out of other relationships are looking for a sexual partner to feel healed before they move to the next serious relationship. Its possible that your commitment to virginity is not satisfying these men who are really only looking for one thing. What yours mother said about these guys is true -- it really is.

Don't Count On Guys For Fun

So, don't count on other guys to make you feel fun again. Find fun things, fun people, and then the fun just happens.

For me it meant getting less sleep and staying out late with friends going to concerts and hanging out. Yes, my grades suffered at the time; but, I can honestly say that I've never had more fun.

Ten Cats On Your Head

And as Dr. Seuss said in One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish:" Fun is good." By the way, he defined fun as "eating birthday cake in bed, riding an unusual horse, and walking with 10 cats on your head." Maybe you should try some of these things!

Love,

– Charlie