| Dear Confused and Frustrated, Love
Is A Battlefield In
many previous columns I have compared relationships to a dance. In this case,
I think a more apt comparison is a battlefield. To be successful, you have to
know when the right moment is to make your move. But, I do think your points are
valid. Why should you be disappointed with the "most important piece of jewelry
you will ever own?"
Being
Satisfied With The Way You Look
The
question is, what is this argument really about? For you it is about your most
cherished piece of jewelry. It's about being satisfied with how you look and how
you feel being a married woman. It's about matching your own perceptions of your
married self with how you really are being viewed by others. His
Marriage Unfortunately, for your husband,
it's not about any of these things. For him, the ring represents the marriage.
It represents his willingness to take the big plunge, to publicly declare before
your family and community, and before God that you two are together. For him,
it's not so important that you have a ring you like, but that you keep the symbol
of your union.
The
WEDDING Ring Is The Symbol
I would tell him that
the wedding ring is the symbol. The engagement ring historically
has been used to win the bride's heart. In your case, he got the
wrong ring and still won your heart. He was lucky about a year ago,
but will he continue to be lucky as you grow to resent the fact
that he bought the wrong ring in the first place?
Does he want a marriage
based on disappointment?
 He
Owes Her The Right Ring
I think every husband
owes it to his wife to make sure she absolutely loves that engagement
ring. I certainly wouldn't want the first thought my wife gets when
she looks at her hand:
"that SOB couldn't
even get the right ring!!"
Love, Charlie | 
