| RING AROUND THE RESENTMENT
or
RESENTMENT AROUND THE RING You
May Cause More Damage I
can certainly empathize with your feelings of resentment on this issue of the
ring. You didn't get the ring style you wanted, but you did get a ring that
was picked out by your husband and that is a very important factor to consider.
To discard your current ring and or continue to insist on a new one,
is probably going to cause more damage. Here
is a suggestion that might help to create more peace around this matter:
Suggest
A Special Anniversary
Why not suggest a special
anniversary, recommitment or rededication of your marriage -- perhaps at the two
year mark. Let him know that it would mean a lot to you to renew your vows --
just the two of you, and that might include an
"additional" (not a replacement) ring that you both pick out together.
This little ceremony between the two of you could include reciting special words
-- poems or songs or original thoughts, to each other about each other.
Another
Ceremony With
such a ceremony and an exchange, you could continue to wear your current ring
and also wear the new one that is more to your liking. Let him know that the new
ring would not replace the wedding ring, but would symbolize your time together
during the first two years and the closeness you've come to know. This might be
a way to calm the resentment waters without ruffling his feathers. Forgive the
mixed metaphors.
 You
Might Be Compounding The Resentment
This
is a very delicate issue that deserves some careful reflection. If you continue
to remind him that you don't like the ring he picked out, this could lead
to further resentment. Neither one of you needs that. Try not to feed this issue
and the resentment that already seems to be in place. It's
Just A Symbol
Realize that a ring is
a symbol of your love, and if this ring doesn't "do it"
for you, its important that you come to some resolution together
as to how you're going to resolve this issue.
Strengthen
Your Commitment See
if he is agreeable to this lighter recommitment-type ceremony like the one
I suggested that would include a ring that you both would pick out together to
symbolize that your marriage and commitment are on track. Have
fun with it. Have a special dinner or prepare an feast together and serve it to
one another in front of a fire. Let your imagination run wild. These
are the sparks that keep love alive and marriages on track. Try to let the ring
play into this new ceremony and let it find a way to satisfy both of your needs
-- his need to select the ring, and your need to have an input into the style
of a ring you are going to wear on your finger (hopefully) for a very long time.
Best of luck. Let
us know how things go.
--Miss Kitty | 
