Some Couples Need More Time

While some people "just know" that they are right for each other, other couples sometimes take longer to realize that. I think it depends on whether you really know what you are looking for in a life partner, and whether or not you know the other person well enough to assess how they fit that description.

That "Magic" Six Month Mark

Yes. Two months isn't long enough. She needs to slow down.

One rule of thumb I have noticed is that a person's "real" character often comes out in a dating relationship after the 6 month mark. I don't know what it is about that "magic" 6 month point, but it seems that people suddenly shed their good behavior routine and the real colors shine through! Other than that, I think timing just depends on the couple.

What Will Make It "Right" For You?

Have you honestly thought about what you're looking for in a relationship? What character qualities are you looking for in the other person? What points of compatibility must exist between the two of you?

Instinct Or Infatuation?

The fact that you don't picture yourself together may be a good gut instinct. But before you give up on the relationship, look deeper beyond the fleeting "butterflies in the stomach" feeling to honestly assess the other person and the potential for you to weather life's storms together.

I know that may sound unromantic, but you need to think with your head, as much or more than your heart, as the initial infatuation in a relationship and intense feelings can be misleading.

My Mr. Wrongs

If she knows there is no spark, then why hang in there and delay the inevitable?

In several of my past relationships I knew that the guy wasn't right for me, but I hung in there because of my strong feelings, only to be disappointed later when we would inevitably break up because he was the wrong type.

Hollywood Is Misleading

Take it from a moviegoer: "love at first sight" is as plausible as a dog that plays basketball.

I'm not saying that excitement or physical attraction are not important; I just think you shouldn't rely on that or on a Hollywood version of what you're "supposed" to feel to determine your future together.

Ordinary Is Good

After three years of marriage, I can tell you that real, deep, lasting love is sometimes very "ordinary" and un-movie like. A long lasting relationship is not always romantic or exciting, but it grows deeper as both partners live out their commitment to love and honor each other.

Commitment Enhances The Response

As the initial feelings of infatuation fade, a more meaningful and deeper love grows, fed by the security of your COMMITMENT. As a result, your feelings will grow and deepen in a different way because both people have made a decision to stick with and build up the other person, no matter what.

So, rather than asking yourself if you are feeling the right things, you might take an honest look at your boyfriend and determine if you can make this kind of commitment to love him, based on the qualities he has displayed.

-- Hope