| Dear RC, Friendship,
Not "That Special Feeling" There's
much more to lasting romantic relationships than "that special feeling"
or "magic" as you call it. That extra something is friendship, pure
and simple. Not just tolerance or just putting up with someone, not "settling"
for someone at the cost of some of your basic principles. There
is always compromise, yes, but it must be achieved in the context of mutual understanding,
trust, and companionship that transcend the passion that often accompanies new
relationships. Growing
Old Together You didn't mention
your age, but it doesn't sound like that's a major issue. So my bottom line is
(and you mention this yourself) whether you can see yourself with this person
at your side, intimately, a few or many years down the line. Such a partner has
to be your friend, not just your lover.
If
You Are Looking For A Life Partner...
There
is, of course, nothing wrong with just dating, if you both understand that that's
all it is, and neither of you is looking for anything more at the moment. But
I fully understand the desire to find someone you feel you can spend the rest
of your life with, and if that's your intent, you have to go with it. If
you're still just getting to know each other and you think there's a chance you'll
discover much that is yet to be revealed, stick with it for a bit. End
It If It Ain't Happening If you think you've got the
hang of this guy, and it ain't happening, end it now, as amicably and respectfully
as possible. Good
luck in love, Mensch
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