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Dear John,
You're Not Alone
I was a single parent
and was the one with the child. He had a way of making my girlfriends
uneasy by always asking without fail if "they were going to be his
new mom."
Seek Counseling As
A "Family"
Finally, you've met a
woman and started a relationship and the child was told that this
is my relationship whether you like it or not. Why not suggest,
if you stay with her, that you seek counseling as a "family", you
and her and the child alone to deal with the issues.
Ultimately, It's Her
Decision
If the child gives you
an ultimatum, the decision from my point of view is that it is your
fiancée's decision and you stay out of it. My experience
says only hard feelings come out of trying to "help" in that kind
of situation. My child was told he had a opportunity to talk it
out with me, her and me, or a counselor. Failure to to any of those
and he would be treated like a "bad boy" and take the consequences
for his actions.
Be Patient
The relationship between
my son and his stepmother was stormy from age 13 till he left home
on his 18th birthday He has turned into a fairly good kid in the
last 2 years and even gets on okay with his stepmom. I would have
sent him to his real mom if that was a viable situation, but it
wasn't.
Love, patience and tolerance
are the watch words here. Good luck!
Love,
Mr. Survivor
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