Dear Panel,

I am a junior in college and deeply in love with my partner.

Her Father Upsets Her

My girlfriend is a very strong and caring person. But when it comes to dealing with her family, her father in particular, she can become very weak. I often times have to calm her down after she talks to him on the phone. He does not yell at her, but the way in which he can make her feel bad about herself, for grades or other small things, often brings her to tears.

Rick, my girlfriend's father, is a very controlling man. He is very tuff on my girlfriend. He expects perfection from her and makes her feel bad when she hasn'tÙt met HIS expectations.

Our Story

I am a junior in college and so is my girlfriend. We have been dating for more than 2 years and we are in a very loving and caring relationship.

The only problem in the relationship is the fact that I have never met my girlfriendÙs parents. Although some guys might consider this a blessing, it has become a source of conflict for us. I sometimes feel like a secret. Not being able to talk during long vacations because I cannot call her and she cannot call me.

They Disapprove of Dating

I have asked her several times to tell them about our relationship, but she refuses. She says that her parents don't think she should be dating at all. She is worried, that if they know, they will forbid her from seeing me. I would like this relationship to continue after college, and of course it cant at this point.

How should I deal with this unhealthy condition?

Charlie, Jayne, and Judith answer this question.