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Dear "fell in love with a perv":
My guess is that I am probably going to address your dilemma much
differently than the other panelists.
Do Everything To Protect Your Daughters
My first response after reading your question is that you must
do everything to protect your daughters, now and in the future.
Today's Little Girls Are Seen As Sex Objects
A serious flaw has turned up in your "soul-mate". However,
in a time in history when we parade Britney Spears and Christina
Aguilera on TV dressed like teasing and sexy 12 year olds, and other
preteens are walking around worshipping her and other stars like
her, it's no wonder we're all a little bit confused when it comes
to what is "okay" and not okay.
Men Have Always Lusted After Young Girls
From the beginning of time, men have been looking at young girls
and lusting after them. Not all men, but more men than not. Does
this make it okay? No. Does it make this a more common problem than
most people would assume would be out there? Probably.
Take Him Up On His Offer To "Change"
NEWSFLASH: Everyone has flaws. Some are more significant than others.
To figure out how deeply this issue goes with your husband, it is
imperative that you take him up on his offer to "try to change"
and go to a therapist with him to discuss this very important issue
as soon as possible.
Determine If His Fetish Is Casual Or Serious
Let a counselor or therapist help you determine how deep this problem
truly is. If your husband is one of thousands who is turned on by
young girls, welcome to the year 2000.
If his desire is of a serious nature, and one where he is clearly
crossing the line between right and wrong, you need to hear about
it and base your decision on that bit of imperative information.
Soulmates Can Have Dark Sides
Eventually, many folks wake up and find out their soul-mate also
has a dark side and/or a serious weakness. We are all flawed beings.
With that said, it is vital that you find out just how deep your
husband's desire goes. Perhaps he doesn't even know. Get a dialogue
going and get these things out in the open. Find a qualified professional
to work with you on this. This is very important.
 Your
Children Come First
Never lose sight of the fact that your first concern should be
with your children. At the same time, exercise some compassion for
human weakness and desire. If your husband has never acted on his
desire and likes to "look" but would never act on this
desire, this is an important consideration. Has he considered acting
on it? Talk to him about this. It is a SERIOUS consideration, one
that you should not and cannot ignore.
Don't Face This Alone
Please do not try to come to a decision about this alone. Find
a good therapist soon, if you have not done so already, and discuss
this very important dilemma at length.
Please let us know how things work out.
– Miss Kitty
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