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Dear Feeling Like Meat,
Not
All Men Are Like That
Unfortunately, based
on your experiences, it probably seems as if guys are after one
thing and one thing only: sex. The good news is that not all men
are like this. The bad news: the ones that aren't seem to be fewer
and farther between.
Sex
As a Game
We live at a time when
sex seems, in some instances, to have lost its "specialness"
and become more of a game. For many men it is the challenge
of getting you into bed not the actual act of intimacy that drives
them and encourages them to act in the manner that you have come
into contact with.
Wrong
Attention, Wrong Attraction
Sometimes it is the way
that you act or dress that encourages behavior like this and other
times it is completely innocent flirting on your part that may draw
the wrong attention towards you. Maybe you are attracted to the
wrong things in the men that you choose and as a result, by choosing
guys who have this quality in common, you end up in the same position
each time.
Start
As Friends
My best advice is that
you try and form a friendship first with any guy that you are interested
in. By being his friend first before showing you are interested
in anything else, you automatically eliminate sex from your initial
contact and you have the opportunity to feel him out- decide whether
or not he is a "typical" sex-driven type or maybe he will
share similar interests as well as the qualities that you would
prefer your man to have.
Don't
Act Desperate
You can't choose Mr.
Right. He is more likely to show up unexpectedly and when you aren't
looking for him. I would venture to say that looking so hard suggests
a bit of desperation and that usually can be sensed and translated
into "looking for sex."
Often a man looking for
a woman is also looking for the physical intimacy. It is just a
sign of the times -- will it change as you get older? Hopefully.
We like to think that with age comes maturity but that can't always
be guaranteed.
 Dress
"Unslutty"
Hang in there. Continue
to dress "unslutty" and don't look so hard. Work on building
friendships in which you can be honest with the guys first and then
afterwards, allowing those to blossom into relationships. Remember
that you don't HAVE to have sex and you should always stick to your
guns (so to speak). Don't do anything you don't want to do and if
you feel like a guy is pressuring you, that should be an automatic
indication that there is something lacking and that he is not for
you.
Wait
For Mr. Right
Keep the faith. The good
guys are out there and they are not looking for sex. They may just
be more refined, less in your face, and in the long run -- more
you type. You will find Mr. Right -- just be patient and don't lower
your standards -- don't lose faith yet...
Keep
Trying -- But Not Too Hard
I found a good guy who
is waiting for marriage -- there are some who aren't waiting but
still don't treat sex as a challenge to meet a goal -- those are
the guys you want to keep your eyes open for. Just keep trying (but
not too hard!) and I promise you will find a nice guy.
- Foxy
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