A Reader Responds:
It's Nature, Not Nurture
It has very little to do with the way we were raised. For
instance, in my family, none of the traditional "male"
roles were emphasized to either me or my brother and thus,
both my brother and I have chosen roles that are considered
more "feminine" (he's an opera singer and I'm
a masseur).
However, our instinct to mate is just as potent as any
other guy. It has to do with biology not sociology.
Woman's Instinct Is To Settle Down
Women have the instinct to find a long-term mate, and settle.
Because women produce only one egg per month for about 30
years, in order to fertilize said egg and raise the baby
to maturity, there needs to be a mate who is willing to
stay the full length of time required -- in other words,
settle.
Men Want To Spread the Seed
Men, on the other hand, produce millions of sperm per ejaculation
and a particularly verile man can ejaculate 5 to 10 times
in a day. Also, as a young man is in his late teens and
early twenties, he gets the beginnings of an erection (whether
he wants to or not) every 30 seconds. I'm not joking!! Each
time he gets an erection (or the beginnings of one) he cannot
think of anything but sex.
Imagine for a minute what it's like to have a sexy thought
in the middle of a board meeting. Your palms sweat, you
flush, you become distracted, you might be imagining the
touch of some chiselled hunk, and so on.
Well, this is happening ALL THE TIME with boys and young
men (except that they're thinking about women, the heterosexual
ones, that is). This frequency decreases as he gets older,
but given relatively good health, this erection thing is
a constant in his life.
To continue with the idea about the ejaculations, because
men replenish their stock of sperm every 24 hours, it behooves
the male of our species to inseminate as many females as
he can in order to continue life. While we don't have the
need for the unlimited procreation that our ancestors had,
our own evolution hasn't caught up and therefore, men's
sperm count is relatively high for our current habits.
Some Men Have a Conscience
It's a nasty truth, but true it is. There is hope, however.
Socialization DOES keep a check on most mens' procreation
instincts. So just be choosy. Not all men are dedicated
to merely spreading their seed, some do have a conscience.
Good luck finding them/him.
– Rossisaurus
Male, age 33, Ontario, Canada
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