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Does she just use me as a crutch?

Mo Answers:

Dear Utterly Confused,

It Can Be a Wonderful Place

Mensch

But even if they felt the same, her jealousy would trigger problems.

I have a friend who says that close male-female friendships are basically romances minus physical contact. It sounds like you might be experiencing that sort of situation. That can be a wonderful place to be when you both feel the same.

It's Not Mutual

Reader

I disagree because sometimes, you get attached very easily.

In this case, however, it appears that you both don't feel the same. It seems to me that you continue to support this woman in the hope that someday she'll realize that you were meant for each other. She might, but even then I don't hold out much hope for the relationship.

A good relationship is a partnership, an equal pairing between two people. There's generally more companionship and less drama. Don't get me wrong, there *is* plenty of fire in a good relationship, but it usually serves to push you closer together, not farther apart.

You May Not Want a Real Relationship

Charlie

You're barking up the wrong tree – it's HER problem.

You say that you have poor luck with women. I think it probable that you're the one keeping these relationships platonic, not the women. I have two theories on this:

  1. You're "saving yourself" for this woman. You're trying to keep yourself available in case she ever really falls for you. It would really suck (sarcasm alert!) to be in a loving relationship when true co-dependency finally comes your way.

  2. You're not actually interested in a real relationship at all.

Romance is a lot of work. Believe it or not, it's much easier to perpetually break your own heart mooning over someone who'll never love you. Also, real relationships are scary. You can get hurt for real, in a way you weren't expecting.

Love Is Like Politics

You've heard the saying "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't." It's the same reasoning that leads us to elect the same crappy politicians over and over.

Mo She's Not the One

Anyway, I'm sure that there is a wonderful woman in the world who is meant just for you. I'm just not certain it's *that* woman.

Good luck!

Mo

 

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