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Mo Answers:Dear Utterly Confused, It Can Be a Wonderful Place
I have a friend who says that close male-female friendships are basically romances minus physical contact. It sounds like you might be experiencing that sort of situation. That can be a wonderful place to be when you both feel the same. It's Not MutualIn this case, however, it appears that you both don't feel the same. It seems to me that you continue to support this woman in the hope that someday she'll realize that you were meant for each other. She might, but even then I don't hold out much hope for the relationship. A good relationship is a partnership, an equal pairing between two people. There's generally more companionship and less drama. Don't get me wrong, there *is* plenty of fire in a good relationship, but it usually serves to push you closer together, not farther apart. You May Not Want a Real RelationshipYou say that you have poor luck with women. I think it probable that you're the one keeping these relationships platonic, not the women. I have two theories on this:
Romance is a lot of work. Believe it or not, it's much easier to perpetually break your own heart mooning over someone who'll never love you. Also, real relationships are scary. You can get hurt for real, in a way you weren't expecting. Love Is Like PoliticsYou've heard the saying "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't." It's the same reasoning that leads us to elect the same crappy politicians over and over.
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