Dear Panel,
I am a sensitive, caring guy and am still deeply
in love with my ex-girlfriend.
Amy is the most beautiful woman to ever grace
the earth. She has a three year old daughter whom I love as
my own.
Dan is Amy's present boyfriend. They now live
together and he pays for all of Amy's bills.
She Replaced Me
Amy and I were together for about two years,
and I still love her with every ounce of my soul. We lived
together for a little over a year. Six months ago, she broke
up with me and a few weeks later, she replaced me with another
man (Dan) and soon moved out with him.
She Came to Return My Things
I hadn't talked to her for the last four months
until about a week ago when she showed up at my door to return
some things of mine. That night we sat up for about 3 hours
talking about life and just chit-chatting. We didn't mention
our situation or say anything about any relationship at all.
She asked me to help her buy a computer and I agreed to help
her later that week.
The night we went shopping for the computer,
we talked for about 5 hours, this time it was about us. I
found out that she hasn't been very happy in her present relationship
lately and that she misses me and still loves me. She wants
to be with me but she cannot leave him because she signed
a one-year lease to the apartment where they live.
Bound By Money
She also does not work but goes to school. Dan
pays for all her bills, including her daughter's pre-school.
Financially, she couldn't move out even if she wasn't bound
by this lease, and I don't make enough money to pay for a
place for me, Amy, and her daughter.
We Had a Great Time
All in all though, we got along like we used
to and we both had a great time. We even talked about the
love we used to make and about how great it was. We even fought
off the urge to do it that night. It was almost as if we were
back together again.
This is only the beginning. I apologize for
such a long question, but it's very involved.
Dan's Violent Reaction
She and I were out together late last Friday,
and were out very late Saturday with a couple friends of hers.
Saturday night her daughter stayed at my place. That night,
Amy came home to a furious Dan. She tried to sleep as he punched
several holes in the walls and the bedroom door.
Fed up, she finally grabbed a change of clothes
and went to spend the night at a friends house.
His Attempted Suicide
The police were called by a neighbor of theirs
because of the noise, and when they found him, Dan was passed
out in the garage with the car running.
I found out about this before my ex did and
I had to be the bearer of bad news. He was in the hospital
and within an inch of his life. She immediately went to visit
him in the hospital.
It's been a few days and I haven't heard from
her since, even though she told me she'd call with updates
on how he's doing. I found out from her mother that he's okay
now and in some psychiatric clinic for the next 3 days.
In Limbo
I am so worried about her and her daughter.
I can't even imagine how she's taking all of this. Why won't
she call me or answer my calls? Does she think this whole
thing is my fault? Does she just need time to recover? What
is my next move in getting her back? What is her next move
in life? Does she dump this crazy guy or stay with him in
fear that he'll do it again? Will this guy try to hurt her
or her daughter? I have no idea what to do or what to think.
Amy and her daughter are the two most important people in
my life. Please help me on this.
What can I do to help her?
– Worried in Wisconsin
Mr.
Survivor, Judith,
Hope,
and Charlie
answer this question.
