Answers:

Dear Miserable,

That is definitely a tough situation -- and unfortunately, there isn't one easy solution. Every parent is different with what they expect from their children. But I do have some pointers:

You Can't Change Their Racial Prejudice

Now, you didn't specify why his parents do not like you. If it's because of your race, than obviously there isn't anything you can do about that.

But You Can Change Your Manners

But, because they are your boyfriend's parents, you should try and be as polite as possible. Making rude remarks will not get you anywhere. Talk to them, ask them questions about themselves. For example, if you see antique items in the house ask if the mother/father collects them as a hobby. Basically, look interested in getting to know them.

No; all you really have to do is be with your boyfriend.

That way, if all else fails, you know you tried and you were not the bad guy.

But You Shouldn't Change Your Personality

On the other hand, if the reason they do not like you is basically because, well -- you're you -- don't change yourself!!! You can't please everyone in the world and you shouldn't have to. They may not agree with your personality, but who you are is more important than pleasing your boyfriend's parents.

My Boyfriend's Parents

What worked for me with my boyfriend's parents was, I was myself! I did not try and suck up to them. I was just friendly and eventually his parents became as close to me as my own family.

Don't Return Rudeness

It is always hard in the beginning because you don't know what to expect and parents are always cautious of their children's relationships. If his parents are rude , you should never forget who you are just to please your boyfriend. He may be going through a rough time but your parents like him. There is nothing worse than knowing people dislike you.

He Should Support You

I disagree because being in a mixed-race relationship, especially with whites, is a no-go.

Your boyfriend on the other hand, is he even sticking up for you?!? Some people are afraid to stand up to their parents -- is he one of them? Ask him if he is putting a good word in about you. If he really loves you, then the fight should be worth it.

Yes; I agree that it is HIS job to convince them.

But if he asks you to act different because his parents would like it better -- DON'T!!! He's being caught in the middle but he shouldn't bring you into it either.

It's not corruption; purity of race and bloodline are fundamental concepts by which most of humanity lives and dies.

So give it time! They need to know that their "baby boy" will not be corrupted by you -- which I am not saying you will but I think you know what I mean. Once they feel they can trust you, it's smooth sailing. As long as you try and be nice to them, that is all you can do. When you try and change who you are to please them, they will sense you are a fake and like you even less. And if your boyfriend loves you as much as you think he does, he will fight the good fight. Basically, you can't go wrong with being yourself - Good luck!!!

Hope I've Helped,

Mel

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