Survivor Answers:

Dear miserable,

My Parents Rejected My First Wife

But in the end... were they right to disapprove of her?

My parents did not approve of my 1st wife, but were good enough to let that be in the open instead of hiding the fact in a dark corner.

The reason they didn't approve of her was real simple and spreads across the bounds of race and creed. "She's a nice girl (guy), but she is just not __________ ." Here you need to fill in the blank with, in my case, "Jewish", but it could be "Catholic", "German", "Italian" and on and on and on. Both my sister and I married gentiles (non Jews) and the price was being written out of the will.

My brother married from the approved list and inherited everything when my parents passed on. Now the word "goy" (non Jew) is just a word, but you put an old Jewish mother and a white Southern redneck together and have one say goy and the other say nig---, and you won't see much difference.

If He Needs Their Approval

Bottom line. Who are you having a relationship with, him or his parents?

Do you allow your parents to pick and choose your friends/lovers for you by their approval or lack thereof?

If it should come to pass that he breaks up with you over this issue then maybe you will be better off. I say this because if he allows his parents' approval to dictate who he will be with, how much more will they dictate in the future, and how much will he let it affect the relationship.

Don't Even Try to Change Them

You're right, she can't change them.

Neither you or he can change the minds of people set in a path for umpteen years, so I suggest not even going that path. I knew the price when I married and was willing to be my own person and pay it.

Know the Price of Being Yourself

Suggest you be strong, be your own person and make your own successes and maybe mistakes without those influences. Be aware and know what the prices that you will have to pay are. Follow your heart and go for it.

-- Mr. Survivor

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