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Dear
Panel,
I
am a Shosha, a 19 year old girl in my 2nd year of college. I went
to a residential high school so this is my forth year living away
from home.
The
person I am asking this question about is my second long-distance
relationship. I swore after the first one I'd never do that again,
but this time it's worth all the hard stuff. I am probably the
most stable, confident person I know, probably because I've had
a lot of support from my family and friends my entire life. I
am extremely sincere in my relationship and very communicative
with people.
My
Beliefs
I
do not believe in right and wrong, just interactions from which
we learn who we want to without moral judgement from a higher
being. My current boyfriend is the third person I have slept with.
I try hard to deal with things as they happen. I don't really
date casually.
My
Michael
Michael
is 20 and has had several other relationships, one really serious
one where he slept with the girl. His spiritual beliefs are very
similar to mine. He is frustrated with his current living/working
situation and wants a change. He is a very unstereotypical male.
He is the first person I have dated I really feel intellectually
equal with. He cries a lot when he thinks things are beautiful.
He is the most sincere person I know.
My
family likes him and his like me.
My
Two Previous Relationships
The first guy I dated for a year and a half and I broke up with
him. He was very clingy and suicidal when we broke up, but was
very influential because he was my first everything.
My
next relationship was intensely free and completely open. It lasted
about 4 months but was more serious than the previous one (which
was my first; I was 17). He broke up with me out of nowhere (well,
to me) and I got together with the guy I'm with now 2 months later.
We
discussed the rebound thing. I don't think it applies.
I
Didn't Know How Michael Felt About Me
The
guy that I am with now liked me for 2 years, ever since we met,
but never told me because I was always with other people and he
didn't want to pull at me.
One
night he decided to tell me how he felt because he thought our
friendship wasn't open because I didn't know. All his friends
knew. He'd written songs about me that I knew all the words to
-- I just didn't know the subject.
I
Was Tipsy, So I Kissed Him
So he told me and said he didn't expect anything but I was kinda
tipsy so I kissed him. And everything changed.
Our
Conflicts
We've
been together since (a little over 7 months). We have a lot of
conflict I think but it's all good conflict. We're really open
and want to work through things. A lot of our conflict has had
to do with me not being able to trust that he won't leave because
of my last relationship. However, we've talked about that A LOT,
and I've mostly healed from that.
My
Roommate Is Moving
We
had a summer living close to each other, but for the most part
we've been 4 hours apart. I see him almost every weekend. My roommate
is moving away for the semester and I need to find a roommate
for 5 months. I want to have my boyfriend come here and live with
me. I get a stipend from school so finances would not be strained.
We
both want to do it but are scared of messing something up by moving
in so soon. I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I know
I'm young but I think sometimes you know. I don't want to get
engaged or anything until after college, but I want to live with
him.
How
do you know when it's the right time to move in together?
--
Shosha
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