Dear [Anonymous] college guy,

You're Misguided

I think you are misguided thinking that sex is just about "love." Sex is about passion, sex is about insecurity, sex is about power, sex is about hunger, sex is about romance, sex is about tenderness, sex can even be about love...but it's pretty damn complicated.

Her Feelings Are Complicated

My guess is that the reason that Tina broke up with you over F Boy is because she had complicated feelings for him. You can't and probably don't want to know all of those complicated feelings. But, the truth is that you can have sex with someone else for a whole host of reasons and still feel strong feelings for the "one" in your life.

An Intimate Goodbye

There are more appropriate way s to say goodbye.I've said before: if you make sex commonplace, it becomes a bore.

Many times when people have a history together, the feelings (the complicated, sexual feelings) linger. Sometimes, people even need to have sex to say "goodbye" once and for all. It is possible that Tina and F Boy were saying "goodbye" in an intimate way. It may very well be that that was the best way they communicated. It's common.

Believe Her, But Be Wary

You're half right. She also needs to help him forgive her.

So, if Tina says she's really over F Boy, I'd believe her. I'd be wary. I'd let her know that's hard for me to trust her. I'd even have to be mad about it. But, if she was sincere and I really loved her I'd believe her. It takes time for the trust to come back. That trust can only be reestablished if you reconnect and give your relationship that time to move to a place of real trust.

You Can Love More Than One

I also think you can "love" more than one person. It's just much harder (if not impossible) to have a deep, honest, caring, and committed love relationshiop with more than one. If you're the one she wants to really be with, then try it again!!

Love,

Charlie