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Does oral sex count as premarital sex?

Hope Answers:

Dear Confused,

The Bible Forbids Premarital Sex

First of all, I do believe that oral sex is within the confines of "sex" in general, and that the Bible forbids it before marriage.

Refrain from All Forms of Lust

Going even further, the Bible says that we are to abstain from lust (sinful desires) altogether, no matter what the form (1 Thess 4:3-5).

Don't Even Think About It

Confused

But he says that he wants to do it. So by your argument he is already condemned.

Jesus himself said that He looks at the conditions of our heart more than the actual acts that we do, so He condemned the very thought of sexual immorality, even if it hasn't been acted out.

For example, Jesus said "You have heard that it was said to those of old, 'You shall not commit adultery.' But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matt 5:28).

As a Catholic...

Charlie

Just because his values come from the New Testament doesn't make them more important than hers. She doesn't have to defer to the pious.

Since your boyfriend is Catholic and believes in the Bible as God's Word, these are the commandments he has chosen to live under.

(You might also review Rom 13:13 and James 1:14-15 for more insight on the Biblical view of lust.)

He Cares for You So Much, He Abstains

Instead of feeling unattractive and rejected by your boyfriend's desire to wait and keep your relationship pure, try thinking of it this way: he cares for you so much that he wants to do this the right way. He doesn't want to give in to momentary desire and regret it later. He respects the sanctity of marriage and the sexual union between man and wife so much that he is willing to take the hard road to guard that gift between the two of you.

Hope His Self-Control May Endure Other Temptations

Perhaps this also points to his integrity because he is acting out what he says he believes in. He is exhibiting self-control, and wants to keep your relationship pure. If he was willing to give in to his convictions, could you then trust him to keep your relationship pure in other ways?

Would you have 100% confidence in his ability to control his desires when faced with other temptations?

Some food for thought...

-- Hope

 

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