Survivor Answers:

Dear Anonymous,

Your Parents' Disappointment Is Not Your Problem

Your parents most likely will be disappointed; that is their problem. You do not say whether this is because of religious beliefs or other reasons.

My Mom and My Unwed Sister

Over 30 years ago my mother tried to "force" an abortion on my sister when she became prego out of wedlock. My sister was then 19 years old. It started a tragi-comedy around the house for several years, during which time Mom wouldn't even admit she had a grandson.

Sneaky Grandfather

Dad was just happy to be a grandparent, but had to sneak around behind his wife's back in order to just see Dennis. Bad scene because Mom didn't cotton much to "lies" in her marriage.

The Child

That tale unfortunately played itself out 11/24/00 in the passing of Dennis from this world at the age of 30.

Just one of the many "fun" things you could have to look forward to if you keep the child and don't try to work things out with your parents.

Your Reasons

Now to you and your side. Was this an "accident" or a something else?

My sister had access to birth control and anything else she wanted, but most of us think she did it to get back at our parents.

You need to think long and deep about what your story is, and if you don't like the results seek guidance from a counselor before you do anything further along the lines of terminating a life.

Your Baby's Father

If you decide to keep the child, what of the father?

Both parties need to sit down and feel their way through this situation, first together as adults and then maybe with outside help if necessary. This is an emotional minefield for both parties, and I can't stress that point enough to you.

The World Don't Need Another Love Child

But the world has changed since you were young. These are liberal times.

Do you know the old terms "love child" or "bastard?" The world my have come a long way since I was a kid in the 60's, but a lot of attitudes, and bad ones at that, still remain.

I disagree. A single parent upbringing does not always mean another "fouled up" person in the world.

The world don't need another "love child" to get all fouled up because his parents couldn't deal with their personal situations which led to the birth.

Abortion Is a Hard Road

By the way, I have been through the abortion process with my first wife and it was not one of the high points of my life. I am against it personally for those reasons, I am not an "anti-" type nut who thinks you don't have a choice. You do, but be prepared to deal with that, if that is the choice you make.

Both you and your parents will get over the disappointment in time, with love and caring from both sides.

-- Mr. Survivor

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