Mo Answers:

Dear Clare,

Maybe It's a Phase

As I said in another answer: news flash, sexual attraction can diminish with time.

Maybe you're just going through a phase where you love your boyfriend, but are not "in love" with him. Maybe this phase will end soon on its own, as long as the love you have for each other can carry you through it.

Inaction Will Damage the Relationship

However, it's probably not that easy. What will most likely happen if you do nothing at all is that you may eventually grow to be attracted again, but will have hurt his feelings enough to permanently damage the relationship.

Try Making Some Sort of Change

If you are going to salvage your relationship, I would suggest some sort of change. Maybe one of you should move out. Maybe he needs to drastically alter his lovemaking style to be more interesting. Maybe you need to drastically alter YOUR lovemaking style to be more interesting. Maybe you just need to paint the bedroom a different color.

Prepare Yourself To Lose Him

If you are not going to salvage the relationship, you need to prepare yourself for the fact that you probably are going to lose your best friend.

It's a horrible feeling (believe me, I've been there), but you do eventually get over that and grow closer to your other friends.

Tell Him

Have you talked to him about any of this? I've said this many times before, but it remains my best advice:

If it's important enough to tell us, it's important enough to tell him.

Good luck!

– Mo

A guy who is in the same situation:
"Why do I refuse intimacy with my sexy girlfriend?"

For the other side: A guy realizes that his wife is not attracted to him.
"Am I a creep to leave her for sex?"

And
"How do I get my wife to make whoopie?"

Click here to see the full question & other panelists' responses.

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