Dear AL,

He sounds like a good guy to me.

The One Month Rule

But she's not going to get a good feeling about him if she doesn't know more about herself. It's not about him.

As a rule of thumb, one month is long enough to get a good feeling about someone, but generally too soon to determine if you want to spend the rest of your life with that person.

You seem to have some good feelings about this guy, and some unsure feelings. One of your major uncertainties, about being just a fling, from what you've written, has already been resolved. He hasn't moved too fast for you and you both seem to respect your body.

He hasn't proven anything yet. She should play him like a wooden puppet.

He's Proven You're Not a Fling

So what does his former relationships have to do with you? As a matter of fact, I'm confused. It seems to me that he's already proven that you're not "just a fling".

He's At Least a Good Friend

I generally classify anybody who helps me feel good about myself, motivates me, and sends me lots of emails as a good friend. Dating him further can let you find out if he's even more than that.

-- Lefty