Dear
Panel,
I
am a 19 year old medical student. I'm someone who is very
sweet, and kinda in a vulnerable state right now.
Michael,
the Bad Boy
I
broke off a 8 month relationship a couple of months ago to
start over and date new people. That's when I met this guy
and totally fell for him. Michael is a very awesome person.
He's also very different from me. He lives his life on the
edge...does whatever he wants, whenever he wants. He's also
a very intense and honest person. Some bad things about him
is that he is really selfish and doesn't like to have to worry
about another person. He's not really for a committed relationship.
HE doesn't attend college and he's got a "bad boy"
attitude.
We
Became Physical Quickly
Michael
and I met and quickly became friends. For the first couple
of months, we couldn't be apart from each other for more than
a day. We saw each other all the time or at least talked a
lot. We got physically serious pretty quick and I really started
thinking about committing to him.
A
Nonexclusive Ordeal
We
agreed at the beginning to make this a nonexclusive ordeal...so
we both kept it up and dated other people as well. However,
we also kept coming back to each other. I would do anything
for him...and I felt as though I did a lot for him, but he
didn't do much back. I loved to be out with him. He would
alwyas show me some kind of affection and would alwyas make
me feel special.
He
Told Me I'm Too Good For Him
Lately,
I felt like I was the one who was always calling and making
plans and he didn't want to see me as much. So, I asked him
about it and he basically agreed with me. However, he then
went to say that he realized that I was too good for him;
that I had a future and I was in school and he didn't deserve
someone like me.
He
Wants To Marry Me, But He Also Wants His Freedom
This
sounded to me like he was wanting me to break up with him
so he could have the easy way out. Then he went on to say
that he loved me so much and cared about me and he could see
himself marrying me and spending the rest of our lives together.
But..he was not ready for a serious relationship right now,
and he's the kind of person who wants someone to love him
without having to give up anything. He doesn't want to have
to worry about someone all the time and he wanted to live
his life with total freedom.
I
Feel Like I'm Being Used
I,
however, want to commit to him because I do love him as well.
I don't want to lose him and I don't know if I can keep going
on like this...I feel like I'm being used. Maybe we can just
cool it off for a while and not see each other as much. Maybe
he feels smothered or something? I don't know what to do.
Should I stick with it because we do have so much love, or
get rid of him?
--Confused--
Patra,
Charlie,
and Jassy
answer this question.
