Dear Panel,

I'm 23 and have been with my boyfriend (whom I live with) for 4 years. He is absolutely perfect – sweet, loving, mature, responsible, and compassionate. I know in my heart that he's "the one".

The problem? I can't stop thinking about, lusting after, and WANTING other guys.

I would never and have never acted on it – I would never cheat. But it seems I can't really get excited about my boyfriend anymore; all I can do is picture other guys and imagine what it would be like to be with them.

I didn't date much before he and I got together, and was a bit of a "late bloomer", so that could be why I suddenly want to go out and be with every guy in sight. I feel terrible because he's noticed that something is wrong, especially when we make love, but I can't bring myself to tell him the truth – it would crush him. We've already had discussions where he's insisted that he doesn't at all regret not being with more people before we got together. Unfortunately, I can't say the same.

I know he's the one for me, and we've already built a life together...so why can't I stop fantasizing about other guys, and why does it kill me to think I'll never again have a first kiss or a new partner in bed??

Please help. I want to be with him, but I also want to get this craziness out of my mind!

-- Torn

 

Jeannie, Charlie, and Mr. Survivor answer this question.