Dear Confused,

Looks are as important as you make them.

Familiarity Can Breed Contempt AND Fondness

Everyone places different emphasis on different characteristics. Are you attracted to your boyfriend? When you get to know someone, their looks are often different from when you first met them, colored by your experiences with them (I'm sure you've met people whom you once thought of as totally beautiful and now can't imagine why due to negative experiences - it works the opposite way, too).

Disregard First Impressions

You have to decide for yourself if you are attracted to him - don't let your friends decide. And you may realize that someone is such a wonderful person to be with that you find them gorgeous no matter what your first impression was.

My Attraction To My High School Boyfriend Varied

I don't understand your example. It sounds like you followed your heart, which I agree with. But in the end, did looks matter?

Here's an example:

My high-school boyfriend was someone who totally wasn't my type. I prefer dark hair and complexions, and he was about as fair as they come, with freckles, no less!

Regardless, there was a time when I found him extremely handsome (and another time, later, when I disdainfully thought of him as the goofiest-looking guy in the world).

Interaction Is What Matters

Your interaction matters so much more than the outside image and colors the outside image in many ways.
Just decide for yourself. Friends, or just people giving "friendly" advice, can sometimes put enough doubt into a relationship that it disintegrates if you can't sort through what you believe and what you don't.

-- Judith